this is off the top, no note-takin' or live bloggin' none o' that shit.
Jodie wants to break up with Darren unless her mum and dad get back together. It's been about ten minutes since they got back together. Kat has returned to get a birth certificate because she's on the run from some mobsters who she did some dodgy deal with with Alfie. She says Alfie is dead but I'm pretty sure it's not true because he's on the front of TV Times and TV Quick and all those. Minty continues to have a dilemma. Phil try's to say "thanks for getting me off the crack and getting me a business to run" to Shirley by sending Minty away from the arches for "ten minutes. best make it twenty". Super gross but she is a classy lady and shuns his sexual advances. George is getting christened but who cares. Nothing else really happens. Sam's going to leave and phones Minty so he'll come and he probably stays with Heather. Kat goes back to the flat and everyones like "yeahhhh you're back wowwwww" then bloody silly old Jean comes in and goes "how strange, I was just saying how it was very unlikely you'd be back for ages" and everyones like "what? why? WOT U ON ABAAHHT JEAN?" and then she drops it:
"yes I was saying it to the northern mobsters who are sitting in the front room"
Dun dun dun! Oh no!