Saturday, 25 September 2010


That woman breaks up with Max. Darrens new nickname is "Stitches" due to his circumcision, and she refers to him as this despite the emotional weight of the moment. She's gonna go get back with Jodie's dad for her and Darren's sake. Minty runs out of the christening to get with Sam then decides not to then just leaves the square altogether. RIP Minty. The thugs at the Slater's pretend to rob Lily so everyone freaks out then Alfie rolls in pretending to be the police and they scarper. So he's not dead obvs. Kat reveals herself to be pregnant, and the baby is not Alfie's. Oh dear.

Phil has a beard. Kat puts the £10,000 in a toy dog for some reason, which is one of a gazillion that Mo is selling on the square. OH. DEAR. Has it been sold to Darren to give to Jodie? Shirley to give to Hev? Jane to give to Bobby? The hunt is on. Meanwhile Darren and Jodie bonk. Eventually the hunt narrows it down to Roxy or Hev, and Alfie goes round Heathers. Unfortunately she's already found it, but Alf explains the situ and she gives it back. But Alf is such a top bloke he gives her a bit of it. The bets it on a horse called "VICTORIAS PROMISE" and gets £20,000 back. I WONDER WHAT THIS MEANS??????

Alfie has a chat with Phil about whether he can help with any work. Glenda's got a job at the bookies. Or rather is on a trial day. Hev's using the Alfie money to rent somewhere outside of Walford cos she can't afford Minty's if Minty ain't there. Dot tells her to rent Ethel's old flat. Alfie takes Darren's job on the car lot. Except he doesn't it's a great joke Max did. Darren takes Jodie and her parents to the caff. Not sure why. Alfie spends the whole day trying to get a job, the chippy, the bookies. Glenda meanwhile has implemented this policy where you get a free drink with every bet you place, which is absurd and I am pretty sure VERY ILLEGAL. I'm sure you need a license for that sort of thing don't you? Or is the fact it's free make it ok? Anyway, naturally Carol who appears to now be boss of the bookies is not best pleased, but is persuaded when she see's how much money everyone spends when they're drunk. Alfie takes Kat's money which she has AGAIN left on top of a bag, and BUYS THE VIC!?!??! wowowowow didn't see that coming. Then Kat punches Alfie and the episode ends. Great.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


this is off the top, no note-takin' or live bloggin' none o' that shit.

Jodie wants to break up with Darren unless her mum and dad get back together. It's been about ten minutes since they got back together. Kat has returned to get a birth certificate because she's on the run from some mobsters who she did some dodgy deal with with Alfie. She says Alfie is dead but I'm pretty sure it's not true because he's on the front of TV Times and TV Quick and all those. Minty continues to have a dilemma. Phil try's to say "thanks for getting me off the crack and getting me a business to run" to Shirley by sending Minty away from the arches for "ten minutes. best make it twenty". Super gross but she is a classy lady and shuns his sexual advances. George is getting christened but who cares. Nothing else really happens. Sam's going to leave and phones Minty so he'll come and he probably stays with Heather. Kat goes back to the flat and everyones like "yeahhhh you're back wowwwww" then bloody silly old Jean comes in and goes "how strange, I was just saying how it was very unlikely you'd be back for ages" and everyones like "what? why? WOT U ON ABAAHHT JEAN?" and then she drops it:

"yes I was saying it to the northern mobsters who are sitting in the front room"

Dun dun dun! Oh no!



Jack is the dad. She (Sam) pretended it was Ricky's but she's a twat and it's actually Jacks. This mean's he's now got a kid with Roxy, Sam and Ronnies pregs, so both sisters and the cousin too. Even on Jezza Kyle is this rare. Mental. Everyone found out about Stacey not taking her pills. Phil has gone from crack to absolutely loving the playstation. Tracey's working at the chippie (PHEW). Minty thinks Heather wants him to marry her, but she doesn't, so it's fine. Kim (Denise's sis) is capitalising on the demise of the vic and has opened an illegal bar in Patricks front room, much to Denise's chagrin I hasten to add! Sam thinks the baby's ill because it's poo is green, so Charlie, after being at said clandestine bar, takes her barely out of the square before telling her it's really common (I had no idea, I think this is like the doing a poo when you have a baby thing that no-one discusses it but it happens to everyone), he then backs into some boxes or something. Shirl convinces Pat to sell the arches to Phil (????????!?!?!?!?!?!?). Sam wants to give the baby to Jack and Ronnie cos she can't handle it.


So they agree to take him. Charlie, as a result of reversing into some boxes, is getting done for drink driving. Peggy's left the vic to Phil, so within a few hours he goes from Playstation loving crackhead to fucking Alan Sugar. (Why didn't she give it back to Roxy for christ sake!? She just borrowed a few thousand pounds off her it's the least she could flipping do seeing as HER DAD left it to her in the first place, ay carumba!). Ronnie pays Sam off with £30,000 (of Roxy's money OBVIOUSLY), so she'll take the baby away so Ronnie don't have to deal with the whole Jack being a sleaze situ. She agrees BUT THEN Ronnie goes home and the baby's already there. Ha, eat that. Darren wins Jodie back by telling her he got circumsized and DRAWING HER A DIAGRAM. Honestly. Then Sam takes the baby back again, Sam snogs Minty putting him in a dilemma about whether to live his dream of being with Sam or go to the Argy Bargy where he has a dinner date with Hev, and KAT SLATERS BACK. Wearing a wig.

Monday, 20 September 2010


this is the one where Peggy leaves forever except they think we care when we don't. The police come round but it's no big deal. There's this crazy long shot of Peggy walking through the square that's like it's from Irreversible or some shit and gives loads of extras the opportunity to go "all the best Peg" "love you peg" etc etc. Peggy goes to the hospital to blackmail Stacey into saying she burnt down the pub or she'll shop her for murdering Archie. Lol. yeh right peggs. She's having none of it. Ryan and Janine are going on their honeymoon. Not sure where. Phil is amazing at acting. Billy lets him leave the house!!! Does he never learn??

There's more weird shit when Peggy goes into the pub and hears loads of flashbacks of shit that happened years ago. It's all a bit hollyoaks. Then she goes home and is like "i'm gonna leave and i'm gonna take Phil" but she needs money so Roxy goes and gets her some. Standard. Asif Peggy losing the pub means her & the pubs bank accounts are suddenly dry. Oh and Ronnie's pregnant again allegedly. Sam makes the VERY GOOD POINT that not two days ago did Peggy convince her not to give up her baby but that she would bring it up no problem. Sam is also terrible at acting. Can Phil even leave the country? What about Ben? In the end she goes alone anyway and gets that fucking piano ending music and despite it being about 5pm no-one is in the square. She doesn't even say bye to Pat! & who's going to sort out Tracey & Shirley and Christian. (actually Christian is a personal trainer now so he's fine)


sorry mate, i am WAY behind. Here is the greatest episode of all time, the one where the vic burns down. IN SUMMARY:

Basically, Phil is going mad in the flat above the vic, Stacey has told Peggy about her killing Archie so Peggy slaps Stace (that's the last thing she needs). Billy is a big fat moron and opens the barricades to give Phil a glass of water, then Phils all "im on crack let me out" so Billy gets scared and leaves the flippin' crowbar in the room. UNNNGGGGHHHHH. Stacey is going a bit mad bless her without her pills and she tries to tell Ryan that Lily is his kid. But it's his wedding reception in the vic (hence EVERYONE being there), so she takes him to the toilet and he's all like "you trying to snog me on my wedding day?" the Pat comes in and thinks the same thing and slaps Stacey too! Noooo. So she is proper gutted and stays in the toilet. Meanwhile Phil has obvs escaped and smashes some booze up everywhere at the bottom of the stairs then chats to Peggy for aaaaages and she doesn't ever think to blow out the fuckin' match right in front of her. But instead shouts "YOU AINT GOT THE BOTTLE" and then obviously he HAS got the bottle and burns the whole place down. Everyone in the pub takes about ten years to notice. Then they do and everyones going mental trying to leave, and pretty much everyone gets out. Masood gets out with Tambo and then is like "WHERES YOUR MOTHER!!" and she's inside helping Syed because he's lying on the floor. It's a beautiful moment.

So yeah, everyone's out except Stacey, Phil and Lily who's upstairs being a baby. Stacey is DON and puts a coat over her back and runs up the stairs which are all burning like crazy. Phil is less don and tries to get the money from the till and gets trapped when the top bit of the bar falls on him. Stacey eventually pries some of the boards off the windows at the top and Ryan goes up the ladder to get Lily and bring her back down. Peggy and Billy go in and get Phil out. Then Ryan goes back up and Stacey is unconcious on the floor so he puts her on his shoulder and is coming down the ladder when BOOOMMMM. Massive explosion sends them flying. So they're lying on the ground proper hurt and Ryans all like "look, lily's by the ambulance she's fine" and Stace goes "she's yours". The Peggy is freaking out watching the pub burn and she goes 'LETTTT IT BURRRRNNNNN, LETT IT BURRNN". GREAT EP.

Thursday, 9 September 2010



Peggy gets her name above the door again. Phil is really good at acting on crack. It's Janine's hen night, except everyone hates Janine. Ricky takes Ryan for his "stag do" i.e- a pint in the vic with ricky. Janine tells everyone how good Ryan is in bed which is creepy, especially cos Whit's there. Bianca and Ronnie have a fight about who the dad of Sam's kid is, Bianca grabs her hair and then Ron chucks a drink over her. Pat's got a stripper too and he dances with her (Pat) and its brilliant. And Denise's sister keeps calling Janine "Janice" which is great too. Ricky & Ryan get really drunk in the vic and Ricky goes "At christmas..... will you help me do the washing up?". Lol drunk ppl. Pat & Peggy have a great argument where she gets called out for letting Phil kill himself. Ouch. Billy and Minty and Peggy all go to try and get Phil. Ricky and Ryan are really good at acting drunk. Dot is complaining about them being loud and naked and then Stacey's like it's alright they're having a laugh, then Dot says some stuff about the baby and Bradley and Stacey proper casually is like "yeah well Bradleys not her dad. Night then" and then goes inside. UHOH. Janine meets some yuppie creep with a penthouse and as they're leaving the club she can hear Ryan yelling "I love Janine Butcherrrrrr" but then he kisses her and she gets in his car! JANINE NO! Meanwhile Phil is going APESHIT in the back of Minty's van, and then they all (w/sam and Jay and maybe Ron&Rox) try and get him in the vic and up the stairs and it's CRAZY, it's like he's a fucking gorilla or something. Then they get him in the living room and barricade him in and nail planks over the door so he can get off the smack. DARK.



hello. as a non-eastenders aside my laptop dun broke so i'm a bit behind. these are thurs and fri of last week, then ill do mon/tues of this week, then tonights, cos i wanna be bang up to date for fridays because the fucking vic gets burnt down. it's on all the adverts and anything. madness.

Peggy's been out all night but no-one knows why. She been with Sam? Looking for Phil? (Looking for Phil). Ricky goes to the hosp to help Sam out cos she's still having her baby. Sam asks for Peggs so Ricky goes to get her. Pat tells Billy that he should find Phil despite being the only person behind the bar (It's ok, Minty covers). Janine overhears Ricky ask Peggy to go to the hospital cos Peggy's all like "why are you there, is it yr kid?" and he's like "yeh maybs", so Janine goes and tells Bianca Sam's baby is his! Uhhhh ohhhh. Ronnie also overhears so goes and tells Jack cos it might be his too? (Apparently. I can't remember them doing it). She takes Jack to the hosp, then Bianca turns up! But they work it out. It finally gets born and is a little tiny Mitchell boy. Billy comes back from finding Phil & it doesn't sound good, he's found him but he's in a bad way. Then the big reveal is SAM'S GIVING THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION. OH NO!

So obvs Peggy is gutted and everyone tries to convince her to keep it or let Peggy bring it up (how old is she?). The general gist of this ep was all that stuff, Ryan and Janine getting married but not inviting anyone but then inviting people, Phil lives in a proper crack den with graffiti and everything, it's fucking grim. Becca goes too far mental and Jean tells Stacey so Stacey is don and chucks her out. Good riddance! Remember when she was being all creepy and doing it with Max? Yikes. Peggy goes to find Phil and tells him he's better off dead. OUCH.